ΑΠΟΚΑΛΥΨΙΣ

ΤΩΙ ΝΙΚΩΝΤΙ ΔΩΣΩ ΑΥΤΩΙ ΦΑΓΕΙΝ ΕΚ ΤΟΥ ΞΥΛΟΥ
ΤΗΣ ΖΩΗΣ, Ο ΕΣΤΙΝ ΕΝ ΤΩΙ ΠΑΡΑΔΕΙΣΩΙ ΤΟΥ ΘΕΟΥ.

House of Cards

Everything has changed now. My real companion of thirty years has died-no abstraction, no memory, no fantasy-and I am face to face with her loss. I live in the valley of the shadow, and have no guide. I want to die and be with her.

Children of Time, carried on the wind that blows across Eternity,
We met and parted, and will meet again.....
In Shalimar.

Just learned that Elizabeth Hartman, an actress whom I liked in the 60's and 70's, died a suicide in 1987, the victim of depression. Another beautiful dead woman.
I have a theory that people to whom I am attracted, or are attracted to me, are at risk of coming to untimely ends.
What is untimely? Or, what is timely? As if someone who lived to 103 was fashionably late or something.

Voices in the Ether

8/7/006
Since I am getting no comments perhaps I can really say whatever I want here. On my first post I thought that would be the case, so I addressed the dead. (They must be able to reach us somehow, and we them - the difference between life and death being so slight. No, there is no difference at all). But are we breaking some rule to attempt to communicate with them? I suppose....Death is very convenient in the sense of getting rid of people who would if alive stand in our way. Parents, e.g., have either to die,stand aside or become irrelevant. We accept their deaths, even if we are retrospectively tormented by our bad treatment of them. but we (I) cannot accept the death of lovers.
No, no, that's not it. We expect parents and spouses to follow us to our grave, but we never expect those whom we merely loved briefly to stand looking at us through the glass of death, not gesturing, only watching us gravely, as if waiting for us to find a way to reach them.

So many people are saying that America should beware of the reaction to Israel's offensive in Lebanon (and our support of it): we will become so unpopular in the Mideast. Unpopular with whom: al Qaeda, Hamas, the imams in Iran, Moqtada al Sadr, Shiite (and often Sunni) jihadists in general? There are neighborhoods in which it is a feather in one's cap to be unpopular.
We, like Israel, have been making nice to the Islamic world for 15 years anyway, understanding that land for peace is not necessarily something to make Palestinians dance in the streets, rescuing Bosnian and Kosovar Muslims in the Balkans, courting Arafat despite his fairly obvious insincerity, (OK, West Bank settlements weren't too nice, but even Sharon was willing to get rid of them) and in return we got what?--hated, attacked (9/11 got some street-dancing), called barbarians etc. The invasion/liberation/whatever you want to call it of Iraq wasn't very nice either, I suppose, but only if you think of Saddam Hussein as misunderstood rather than a megalomaniacal thug. I say: if nothing you do gets you any good will, then at a certain point you start to have the right to be hostile in return.

midsummer

Caregiving for a seriously ill person. She swings back and forth between rationality and humor on the one hand and confusion and despair on the other. Stemcell research (though badly overhyped) may someday help people like her. Too late for her, but Bush's veto of expanded lines of research puts him beyond the pale. Is there anyone left who is not some kind of lunatic? Who stands for reason and decency?
I don't like doctors. I don't trust their motives. But stopping medical research is stupid.
I am tired and I don't understand what is going on.
Una selva scura.

untitled

7/17/06 Why do bloggers (what an ugly word!) blog? In my case I suppose I am hoping that a kindred spirit will read what I write and have something to say. But how many years would that take? I think that I will not continue this, at least for the time being.
I think there are chatrooms for lonely people to seek companionship in. Weblogs are for people who believe they have important things to say. Well, of course everyone believes that he or she has something important to say. And, allegedly, everyone does, if only they have the courage to say it.
Katie, can you read this? Of course you cannot answer or at least will not. I still have not left where I live, but this is a new address. I won't waste time writing about our old time together but perhaps we can have a new relationship. It would be enough for me.
But no, that's all nonsense. You don't write to the dead. But it's not fair that they are not burdened with you any longer, while you are haunted by them. The ultimate one-sided unhappy unrequited love-affair.